Magazine - Technology - December 14, 2018

How To Be A (Bad) Kenyan YouTuber

You cannot possibly be a Kenyan youtuber and fail to say "Hi guys welcome back to my chanol."

The most peculiar thing about the YouTube space in Kenya is cliques. It is a club of friends. If you are not part of a clique then your chances of making it are very slim. Better still, you should be part of the clique. Welcome to the world of the Kenyan YouTuber.

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The result of this is that content is very synonymous. You witness a dozen youtubers reviewing one restaurant, all videos uploaded on the same day. The duplication of content is bad for everybody. It limits creativity and the audience has nothing to feed on.

Have you been thinking of quitting your 8 to 5(don’t, seriously) to focus on YouTube? Do you want to be a bad YouTuber? We have the tips. After watching more than 10,000 hours of Kenyan content, these are the common themes.

Selective Amnesia

As you start your journey, keep in mind that the Kenyan audience has selective amnesia. Keep reminding them to subscribe to your channel. Punctuate your sentences with the S word. Remind them to subscribe at the beginning of the video. In your conclusion include it too. And you have to say “Hit the subscribe button.”

The other phrase that you cannot ignore is “Give this video a thumbs up.” They have to like your video. They must be reminded that your video is worth a like. And while you are at it, use your thumb to show them the location of the like button. They might miss it if you don’t.

The word channel has a certain Kenyan pronunciation that you must master. Your channel is chanol. Even better if you can pronounce it as shanol. Oh, your audience will love that word.

The next thing you must do is to pant while you are walking and holding your phone. You have to breath fast. Show the audience how tired you are.

Waiting Uber Guy

It doesn’t matter why you are tired. It could be because you’re late to a meeting, or you kept your Uber guy waiting. Anything really. Whatever happens, you have to tell the audience why you are panting. And ask them to forgive you. This is important.

Feed your audience some shock value. Tell them something scary. Your driver didn’t slow down and hit a bump? “Guys, you won’t believe, I almost got involved in an accident!” The driver didn’t unlock the door immediately when your trip ended? “Guys, I almost got kidnapped by my Uber guy!” It does not matter if the story doesn’t sound scary, let your facial expressions show it. Do it like your drama teacher in high school taught you. You are now a YouTube, the audience must hear every detail of it.

Dressing

Tell the audience where you got the dress you are wearing. Drop the number of your deal in the description. People call mitumba dealers of Gikomba beforehand right? Someone is going to get the same mitumba clothing you are wearing if they call the Gikomba guy right? Great! You are a celebrity now, anything you wear makes a fashion statement.

And finally, this is the game changer. This is the one area you cannot go wrong. You have to go to Toi Market! You have to. And do an overhaul while you are at it. After Toi market, you are eligible to do a Dubois Road review.

Do all these and you are officially a bad Kenyan YouTuber.

Extra tip: House tour.

 

 

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